if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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