this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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