The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize