dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize