Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bag of teeth...
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize