My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize