Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
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I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
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Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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