There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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