He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I wish you could order shots online.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
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Houston, we have a blender
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
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All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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