the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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