hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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