question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
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I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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