You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
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Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
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as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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