Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
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