You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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