i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize