Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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