bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
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Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
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No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
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