fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize