last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize