ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
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