I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize