I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
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The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
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I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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