just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
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This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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