You're earring is so big in my mouth
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize