it was like his penis was on wheels.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize