You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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