Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
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I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
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I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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