I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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