Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
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Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
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Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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