I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize