i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
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I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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