Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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