I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize