He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
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Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
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It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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