I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
now i know why i became what i already was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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