His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize