The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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