I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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