Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Randomize