oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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