i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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