I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I can't turn off my feet"
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Randomize