i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize