Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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