its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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