We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize