...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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