he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
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