I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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